she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
