problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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