I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
