listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
