I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
We have started to decorate penises.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
