All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
