I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
