Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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