He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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