Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
