I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
