exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize