"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
