The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
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