you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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