Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
