P.S. I can't hear my feet
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize