i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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