i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
