I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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