Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Two words: blizzard sex
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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