I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
