i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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