We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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