Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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