plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
