I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
