Nicole vs. Life
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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