I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
