I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
