she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
