it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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