i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
