Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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