1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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