Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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