I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
