Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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