She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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