This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
