You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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