I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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