omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
