I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
