dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
