Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
