I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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