if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
