I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
