Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
