I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
