shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize
