found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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