I hope mine doesn't look like that
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
