bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
