just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
