Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
