I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
