Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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