hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
