he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize