bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
