oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
