He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
they're like a gay fantastic four
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
