3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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