So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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