You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
