I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
