Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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