I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
even my farts smell like vagina
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
