i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
